We both took a drink of our adult beverages simultaneously as we sat together in chairs in my backyard.
“Do we have to sit directly in the sun and drink this?” he growled, as he shielded his eyes from the sun and smacked his lips in a disgusted look on his face as he poured the drink on the ground.
“Hey, you are always welcome to leave.” I smiled as I took a swig of my drink. He just gave me a mean look. I, in return, rolled my eyes jokingly.
“Now, as I was about to say before I was rudely cut off by that Sopranos reference, you said that you thank the Good Lord for me... Why?’’ he asked.
“You ever heard of that saying, 'God only gives you what you can handle'? He nodded his head, pretending like he heard it before. But we both knew he hasn’t because he has no ears.
“What’s your point?” he said.
“My point is, that you’re a permanent fixture in my life. Oh sure, I can keep you down now and then but just like those Whack-A-Mole games, your ugly face pops right back up again. Yep, I will never get rid of you.”
He interrupted me and said, “Just out of curiosity, you ever thought of..." he paused and then made a slashing motion with his finger across his neck. “Suicide?” I replied.
He nodded with a grin of enjoyment on his face.
Sure, his dirty feet may have stepped on my gray matter, but I quickly kicked him out. He doesn't come around anymore. Even when his one-eyed pal, 'depression' invades me now and then.
“Besides, I have better things to do than punch my one-way ticket to H•E double hockey sticks. Plus, I'd probably make a lot of people mad or sad, and who wants to do that?” I asked.
“Not this guy!” I answered myself, pointing my thumb at myself. “Another thing, I'm a twin. I’m part of a set. Yeah I know, I’m slightly damaged, but still, we all know you can’t break up a set.”
“Get back to your point about 'God only...blah, blah!‘ he ordered.
“Ok, ok. My point is that I think the Almighty blessed me and revealed you, cuz He knew I could endure you. So keep attacking my body, PAIN, and I'll keep whacking you down my friend, my enemy...my Frenemy.